Bad Writing
by pandorabox82
Summary: After the Replicator tries to kill Erin, she spends time recuperating with Penelope at her side. Will they be able to bond over some very bad fiction? A/U


"Dear God, what in the world did I just read?"

Penelope glanced up to see a look of total disgust on Erin's face, Penelope's iPad in her hand. Ever since she had been injured at the hands of the Replicator, Penelope had taken over the duties of taking care of her. That included bringing her new and interesting things to read. "What tab did you read?" she asked softly, hoping she hadn't left up anything too embarrassing.

"This, this, dreck! Really? Ass babies?" Erin thrust the device at Penelope. "I cannot believe you like to read stories that involve men having ass babies!"

"Oh, god, you found the crack fic that I left up. One of my friends posted the link to that, knowing I'd get a kick out of reading something so awful. Normally I read much more sedate things, I promise."

Erin looked at her skeptically. "That remains to be seen. You have given me the oddest things to read so far."

"Sorry? I really like science fiction and fantasy novels. It's a good escape from the world I see day in and day out. What do you normally read?"

"True crime. I guess I just can't get enough punishment." Her voice was soft, and she looked away from her to gaze at the floor. A few tears slipped down her cheeks and Penelope gasped, getting out of her chair and kneeling on the floor in front of her friend. "I'm sorry, I'm still a little tender after everything that happened."

She nodded and reached up to brush a few tears away, not wanting Erin to feel like she was lost or abandoned. "Is the story really that awful?"

Erin shrugged and patted the seat next to her. Penelope curled up on the couch, resting against her side. The other woman was quick to wrap her good arm around her shoulder and Penelope welcomed the contact, letting her head come to rest on Erin's shoulder. "Just a little. I mean, I've been reading fanfiction since the days of bound zines. I was always a closet Kirk and Spock shipper. But never, in all my days, did I ever read anything like this."

Penelope felt the light shudder that ran through Erin's body and she brought her hand up to gently rub her side, avoiding the place where her ribs were still bound. "I never meant for you to see that. I never even saw what fandom it was for."

"_Profiled_," was the quick response. "I mean, I can understand wanting Mark and Scott to hook up, or be in a relationship, they do have a good dynamic. But I draw the line at men getting pregnant. I mean, there's not even the right anatomy for that to happen!"

She giggled a little at the tiny whine in Erin's voice. "Some people just have really different ideas on what they like."

"But, oh, this is going to sound so weird, but it makes me feel like they're ashamed that they like two guys getting together. To have one guy forced into the very female role of pregnancy and childbirth almost seems to force him into a false feminine ideal. Can't two guys just have sex without having to deal with who is the girl and who is the guy in their relationship?"

Penelope was taken aback by Erin's perceptive, critical, examination of the story. "I never thought about it like that before."

"I have gay friends, their relationships do not fall into the traditional dichotomy, and it hurts to see that there are still people who are willing to consign them to that fate." She sighed lightly, setting the iPad on the coffee table. "Seeing a story like that just pushes my buttons I guess. Sorry, I'll step off my soapbox now."

"Erin, you are all kinds of adorable when you have a soapbox." The words slipped out before she could stop them, and she felt the older woman stiffen a little. "And there I go, shooting my mouth off. But I won't apologize. You are adorable."

"You probably say that to all your friends." Underneath the words, Penelope could detect a faint whiff of longing and she nodded, carefully tightening her arm around Erin's midsection. "I haven't properly thanked you for taking care of me. None of my other friends could take the time off."

"It helps when you're a technical genius like me and can do most of my work from home, when necessary. And I needed someone to take care of. How are things between you and our resident Italian hottie?"

"We're working things out. We both have a lot of trust issues. And how are things with you and Sam?"

"You met him once and you remember his name?" Erin nodded. "He's everything I've been looking for in a man, everything Kevin wasn't, and yet…"

"He's not Derek."

It was odd how she could just cut to the heart of the matter, and Penelope shrugged a little. "We're best friends, Erin. I don't want to rock that boat and potentially lose that relationship, you know?" She began to play with the hem of Erin's shirt, feeling herself tear up.

"You remind me of my oldest daughter, Karen. She had a best friend throughout high school, and I knew she was in love with her before she admitted it to me one night. She had the same fears that you do, Penelope. And yet, they've been together for two years now, and couldn't be happier. If you really and truly love him, go for it. I might even be willing to turn a blind eye, seeing as how he did sort of save me and all."

She smiled widely and snuggled closer to Erin. "That would make you even more amazing than you already are. Do you think the team can handle that?"

"If you mean Alex, then she had better get used to it. I'm tired of groveling for her favor. I made my attempt at amends, she refused them, and now I am moving on. I cannot let that negativity stay in my life. It would hinder my recovery too much."

This was another thing Penelope was getting accustomed to as she stayed with Erin. She was very open about her recovery and how much of a struggle it was for her. Part of it had come from the fact that she wasn't supposed to drive with her bum arm, and so Penelope had to take her to meetings. Another came from the genuine way they had bonded from the very first moment Dave had suggested that she take care of his lover. "And that is really all that matters here, Erin. You need to focus on what makes you better."

Sitting up, she stared into Erin's eyes, watching the soft smile that spread across her face reach her eyes. The longer they looked at each other, the more full of emotion Penelope became, and she realized that she had begun to cry only when Erin reached up to swipe away a few of those tears, copying her earlier move. "Thank you," she whispered before looking away and then hugging her tightly.

They broke apart as their phones began to ring in tandem. Laughing, Penelope picked them up and handed Erin's over before going over to the window so as not to disturb her. "Yeah, Sugar Bear?"

"We're coming home tonight. Managed to get a really good break in the case and apprehended the unsub early."

"Is that why Rossi's calling Erin?"

"You know it. None of us would ever have known they were a couple until he practically tackled me to try and get to her that day. That was some kiss."

She sighed, remembering the romantic moment. While she hadn't been entirely surprised that he was going out with her, given what she'd seen that night at his home, she had been surprised that he would declare his feelings so openly. "It was, wasn't it? Are you going to take us out to supper?"

"We were planning on it. Somehow, drinks with the team didn't seem right tonight."

Penelope looked over at Erin and saw the dreamy smile on her face. "I think a double date would be just the thing that we need tonight. When are you going to swing by?"

"We land in an hour, and we have to stop by the office to drop some things off. So I'd say about two hours."

"That should be just enough time for us to get ready. See you soon!" She hung up before Derek could say anything more and then smiled at Erin. "We are headed for a night on the town. Do you want to shower before we go?"

"I'm good, you helped me with that this morning. But, you could help me pick something to wear." The shy smile that Erin wore told Penelope that she was a little uncomfortable asking for help in that department, but the trust inherent in the question had her squealing inside. "David said to wear something sexy, knowing you were with me. I've sort of lost sexy."

Penelope shook her head as she grabbed hold of Erin's hand. "Um, no, you haven't. It's just a little more understated than a lot of people's idea of sexy. I mean that purple outfit you rocked a few weeks ago? You had Rossi's eyes on your ass every time you walked into the bullpen." Gently, she led Erin up to her room and had her sit on the bed.

"I did notice his eyes following me. It makes a woman feel so wanted, you know, to have someone like him desire you."

She nodded as she went over to the closet, looking through it for the perfect outfit for Erin. Finally, her eyes caught sight of a soft lilac dress and she tugged it out, looking at it critically. It was low cut, which would accent her friend's amazing chest, and long enough that it would touch the ground, which she knew would drive Rossi crazy.

"Here, this will be perfect tonight." Erin nodded and then sighed. "What?"

"I'll need to change bras. I wish I could trust myself to take something to dull the pain. But, what with the MDMA and the alcohol he forced down my throat, I cannot even begin to think about something stronger than aspirin." Her eyes glittered with unshed tears, and Penelope felt her heart ache for what that man had stolen from Erin.

"Then I promise I will be as gentle as I possibly can." Erin nodded and Penelope sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. Erin leaned against her, cuddling in close as Penelope rubbed her side softly. "Which lingerie set do you want me to get out?"

"There's a set in my drawer, not much more really, than a few scraps of dark purple lace. I bought it for our anniversary, but with Curtis, well…"

"I understand. Let me go grab them for you." Penelope hurried over to the special lingerie drawer. She'd found it by accident, when she was putting away Erin's laundry, and had smiled to see the pretty, frothy, garments. "Has the doctor cleared you yet?"

"As long as I'm careful."

Penelope turned her head in time to catch the way she blushed and smiled. "Let me give you a little hint, then. Ride him like a cowgirl rides a horse." Erin gasped a little, and she giggled, pulling out the set and rejoining her friend. "It will be easier on you that way, trust me. And there's the added benefit of being able to feel like you're in control."

"I suppose you're right. And I like that position." Those last words were soft, as if she was hesitant to speak them aloud, and Penelope grinned at her.

"It is a fun one. Though I'm also partial to being bent over the table and taken from behind. There's something so feral about it. That will have to wait, though, until you have both arms free and able to hold on to said table." She winked at Erin, who gave her a small smile in return.

"Do you want to know something wicked?"

"Always!" she squealed, relishing the fact that Erin was letting her in a little, feeling comfortable enough to tell her personal stories.

"Last May, when we spent the night at the hotel, I had him take me against the wall. I…I had seen that in a movie Alan made me watch once, and while he got off, he didn't want to try that out. David had no such compunctions when I asked. I never felt so alive as I did in that moment. And that may be why I love him."

"Because you guys have mind-blowing sex?"

Erin let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Well, there is that. But I love him because he doesn't force me to conform to societal rules. Like I told you before, with the story I was shuddering at, we are so quick to force people into a box. I know I was called the Ice Queen behind my back. People didn't expect me to be in a position of power, that is still reserved for men, and the women who dare to take those spots are somehow not human anymore. And Davie doesn't care about that. He finally started to see the me beneath my work persona. And that's why I love him."

Penelope nodded and then helped Erin to her feet. "I'm glad he treats you well. And I'm glad he's not the jealous type."

"Oh, honey, he knows that we're both only into men. Though he has been letting his mind run wild." Erin grinned at her as she began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse. "Would you mind taking care of my skirt?"

"No, problem, Erin." Penelope quickly undid the zipper and let Erin rest against her as she stepped out of it and her panties. "Hand me that bit of lace, will you?"

She did, and Penelope pulled them up her legs and put them into place before standing and unhooking the bra she was currently wearing. Quickly, she exchanged the two and after hooking it, she helped Erin adjust how her breasts sat in it. "Does this look okay? I've never worn them before, so…"

"You look gorgeous, honey. And now to get you into that dress." Penelope reached over and picked up the silky dress, undoing the zipper and pulling it over her head, helping her bum arm into the one sleeve before running the zipper up her back. "I don't know how Rossi is going to keep his hands off of you until we get home."

"And it's a good thing that the guest room is on the other side of the house."

"That too." Penelope grinned at her. "Do you want to come keep me company while I change? I'm finding I like the companionship."

A soft smile spread across Erin's face as she nodded. "I've found I like it, too. I just wish that my children would come around."

"Tabitha called the other day. That's progress, right?"

Erin nodded as she stood, clasping Penelope's hand and following her over to the guest room. "Yes, it's a start. She'd like you, if she gave you a chance."

"So invite her over. We can spend a day reading badly written fanfics together. There's nothing funnier to bond people, you know. Unless we're mocking bad movies. I'm sure I can get her to bring over popcorn and candy and whatnot for us. Please tell me you agree," she said as she rummaged through the closet where she'd hung up everything she'd brought with her.

"I agree. It would be a lot of fun. If I can get her to agree."

"You leave that to me, Erin Strauss. I can persuade a rock to give me blood." Turning her head, she winked at the woman as she pulled out the dress she wanted. "Do you think Derek will like this?" she asked as she held it up to her body.

"He won't be able to keep his hands off you." Erin smiled as Penelope changed quickly, exchanging one outfit for the other. "And if we do get Tabby to agree, we'll start with the ass baby story. No time like the present to teach her about social issues."

"Sounds like a wonderful plan, Erin. I'll make sure she's here Monday." Erin nodded as Penelope sat next to her, letting her put her arm around her shoulder to hold her close. "I can't wait to properly meet the mini-you." Erin sighed a little as she shrugged, snuggling in close as she drew patterns on the comforter with her good hand.

"She inherited my stubbornness. Penelope?"

"Yes?"

"I love you like the little sister I never had. Thank you, for everything."

"You are most welcome. And I'll let you in on a little secret. I love you, too. You're kinda easy to love, once a person gets to know you. Now, here, let me do your makeup before they get home. I am going to make you look stunning, you already are beautiful." Penelope prodded her up and gave her a tight hug. Tonight was going to be perfect, for both of them, she was certain of it.


End file.
